Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Good Things...

Summer has kept my brain preoccupied. With canvas bags of greens, a day trip to the beach, a pile of books and the best Bible study I've ever been to. Moving to the center of this suburb, with it's endless maze of sidewalks has also motivated me to hit the pavement. And would you believe I've taken this beyond my long love of walking with Aimée in the stroller and have even begun running? After years thoroughly convinced I wasn't cut out for such intensity I find that it energizes my mind and pushes my body in the most satisfying way. Beginning the first of September I've even decided to begin training for a 10k. The wonders never cease.

And speaking of wonders, my biggest food discovery this summer has shocked my socks off: kale. Don't only crazy health nuts eat this rabbit food? Apparently not, because with a little experimenting we have discovered a smoothie packed with the stuff that I actually crave. Yes, crave. As in, "No, biscuits and bacon don't really sound good, think I'll make a kale smoothie." Who has taken over my brain?! Because not only do I seem to make these smoothies constantly, I'm adding kale to everything I can think of. Ok, maybe just to pasta. And quiche. Oh, and to omelets. This is scaring me. It makes my other significant food discovery seem perfectly average.

On a more internal note, I've been really fighting for myself this summer. You read correctly. Fighting for myself. As in, recognizing that all that is good and beautiful is opposed by the opposite forces in the world, and unless I'm willing to clear away the noise and pressure of doing, I'll never feel nurtured, rested or full inside.

And I'm tired of living like a stream, brimming some days (when I've had a great night of sleep, some quiet time and a great conversation with Andrew) and then other days only having shallow puddles of energy to exist on. I want to be a reservoir. Full both deep and wide, pouring over the top to those around me. Existing isn't enough. I need to thrive. And half the battle of learning to live full is figuring out what fills you.

I need to watch the light grow and the sun rise as I push myself through another mile. And I need piles of books I'm actually reading. Sometimes I need quiet and sometimes I need it turned all the way up...with no rhyme or reason to what I need when. I need to drive with the windows open and cook with the afternoon sun filling my tiny kitchen. Knitting needs to fill a basket close at hand. And I need to really dig into the Word consistently. This was why my summer study of the book Intimacy with God was such a highlight. Searching the Bible, scribbling notes, journaling, praying and talking with other women who were making this a part of their lives too was so cleansing. The words of Ephesians 5:26 have come alive, talking about Christ cleansing us with the washing of the water of the Word. It is so refreshing.

So I'm determined to finish this last week of August strong. To take Aimée to the park and keep working on our flip flop tans. To read a couple chapters before turning out the light. And to write again. Because there is life in words, and I want to drink them to the full.