School...

We are doing preschool at home this year, and one of the important things I've learned thus far is that while school with mama may involve painting or poetry, school with daddy is probably going to include how to create fire from common household objects.

Seeing...

Sometimes while my body is on pause, waiting for Aimée to finish her sandwich or pull on her shoes I suddenly feel as if I really see her. Maybe it's the curve of her cheek or the incredibly grownup question she's asking me ("Mom, is God on earth?") but I'm overtaken with throat-closing emotion to see up close and in full focus this vibrantly alive, delightful little girl. 

So I must ask myself, what on earth is going on the rest of the time? Am I really in such a haze of needs, thoughts, social interaction, thought curation, struggling to finish an entire task that I'm missing out on this? Or are these experiences like a sunrise; they don't happen continuously no matter how hard you try to see them, so just enjoy it when they do.

I don't know. So I close my eyes, and whisper to myself "Remember this, don't let the absolutely heart-aching beauty of your child's presence be lost in the flurry of lesser memories. And come back to this the next time she's whining in the grocery store."  

From Over My Coffee...

What you will find below is the first in a series of occasional posts I'll be sharing from my own journals. They are sketches, snatches of observation from my seat at a local coffee shop. Because don't you find that as you linger in an unhurried space of time you begin to actually see the people around you? Their unique expressions of personality and character become a treat to observe. And if I'm able then I have long written about what I see:

The boy is probably twelve. Old enough to successfully manage a pile of plates and cutlery from their breakfast (the server gushed her thanks for his helpfulness) and young enough to obviously

enjoy taking the family dog (who has been hanging out under the table) for a contemplative stroll while his parents finish their coffee.

Striped shirt, boy's haircut, he wanders slowly walking in circles, lips moving. Does he think his dog understands? It doesn't really matter. But I'm heartened to see his simple joy in a cultural age of digital preoccupation.  And I find myself wishing him well.

Grow into a good, strong man! Take your experiences with obviously loving parents, your responsible habits, your ability to linger with a loved dog and offer those gifts to the world. We need them!

The Days of...

These are the days of kissing cheeks and whispers of "I love you, little Coco."

These are the days of making bits of stitching a priority. Because I want my girls to have the memories that I do of a mother who creates for them. Hopefully influencing them to want to sew someday. Or perhaps they will paint. Or play the guitar. Or do all kinds of amazing creating that I haven't even attempted yet.

And these are the days of returning to a loved Friday morning ritual: a coffee shop date with a pile of books. And pastry. Because I've finally acknowledged that while I can happily never taste another chip or sip of soda, regular pastry is good for my state of mind. Or perhaps it's just that the pastry creates a setting conducive to journaling and that kind of thoughtful reading I find so refreshing. All I know is that I pipe something really peaceful into my earbuds, sip my latte, pull out my pen, and before I know it my thoughts soar. I jot notes to myself on ways I could course-correct in my own life. And I pause a lot to stare out a window and absorb the words of whatever author I've brought along.

These two books have been like water in a dry place for me. The Artistic Mother giving me the little push I needed to create without guilt. Walking with God helping me continue my quest to understand how it is that some people feel so strongly that they hear the voice of God and other people, who I highly respect, are much more reticent to make such claims. It is quite possible that I won't find answers on this one for a while, but I'm loving the search and John Eldredge is truly enjoyable to read.

Dawn has broken and the baby is stirring so I close reluctantly. These are, after all, the days of little people who must come first.

Good Morning, dear ones...

So many days have passed since I've visited this little haven! The search for Capri, the essence of who I was created to be and a place of rest, is something I gladly step back into. With a few changes...

This little treasure arrived in April after an intense two hours of labor and a lot of desperate prayer on the way to the birth center. She has brought with her a surge of joy as I expand my wings to make room to nurture two sweet girls from my heart.

We have made it through the rough newborn days of massive adjustment and hormones wildly fluctuating and are settling down to more of a rhythm. I find I'm loving the other changes brought to us over the last number of months: cloth diapering, kombucha fermenting in my cabinet, yoga with Andrew, Sunday hikes, keeping a carefully curated stack of reading which I'm steadily working through.

And so I say good morning again, my dear ones. If feels so wonderful to be back creating here, sharing what I see as I journey!

My Sunny Afternoon...

Staying Busy...

Staying busy is no substitute for a heart saturated in peace.