Saturday, January 4, 2014

Looking Back...

Something subtle has changed this year. And like the proverbial train track shifting slightly off course, I've ended up quite a distance from where I began 2013. You might see the changes. The weight loss or the sense of purpose in my schedule. But the really wonderful things are hidden from view. The way my thinking has changed about myself and who I want to become.

At the end of each month in 2013 I've taken an hour or two to review my goals for the month and plan the upcoming four weeks. And what a treat this has been! Andrew has been so supportive and my favorite cafe of all time has been my destination of choice as I've put in the earbuds, turned on something calm and pulled out my pen.

The first few months I struggled to make any headway, and then I discovered that reviewing that months goals during my weekly planning time and scheduling in small practical steps made all the difference. Suddenly I was flying. Flying low to be sure, but I wasn't trudging along at the pace of snail with a broken leg. And this results-oriented girl was happy.

Because apparently making a goal isn't enough. It goes nowhere. But if you make a goal, draw your attention back to it regularly, and then schedule action into your life the the same way you would a date with a close friend... things start to change.

To indulge in a little more naval-gazing, I've compiled a list of the most important changes I've seen this year:

Learned a lot about healthy portions and choices, bringing food into more of a pleasure than a guilt-ridden habit.

Greater confidence and a sense of adventure.

Lost 20 pounds.

Drew some healthy relationship boundaries. These boundaries have taken the next step in freeing me from false guilt and co-dependency.

Became a runner, completed a 10K, fell in love with yoga and walked well-outside my comfort zone trying new fitness routines and methods to find what would work for me.

Learned how to knit and took huge strides in teaching myself things without dissolving into impatient tears and giving up. This seems like a small thing to write down, but I believe it has been holding me back in countless areas in life.

And more important than anything else, I've finally experienced healing from more of my scarring religious history. This has set me free to continue my search for what I believe rather than reacting to experiences I had no control over for so long.

I am left with confidence that the future is full of good things.