Wednesday, April 17, 2013


It's about to get real in here people...

An acquaintance asked me today if we were going to be dedicating Aimée in a few weeks during the ceremony our local church is hosting. "Not again," I thought. "Why does this keep coming up?" I told her we weren't planning to and breezed on to another topic, grateful to not be forced into an explanation for our decision. Later she asked again and I again dodged further discussion.

But she is not the first to ask. So as the day continued I couldn't shake the topic from my mind. Why do people assume that just because a dedication is being performed, I should participate? Simply because I have a small child? And why do they seem incapable of thinking outside the box when I tell them that it's not really our thing, not something very meaningful to us as parents? That Aimée was covered in prayer since long before she entered the world?

It would be unkind to simply assume the worst of these question-posers, because I'm sure they don't intend to pressure me. But I am overwhelmed by the expectation that comes with their questions. I'm annoyed with their desire for me to follow along like a duck in a tidy row. Granted, for some this is a really special occasion, a memory they cherish and a tradition that is meaningful. And if this describes you, then great! Go for it!

But honestly? How I mother every day, the way I pray for our little daughter, the things she sees modeled in our home are what I'm wanting to pour my energy into.

So many years were spent doing what was expected of me, with little heart connection, thoughtfulness or passion for my life choices. Even the thought of going back to that makes me want to hide.

So I'm telling you all this to work out my frustration in preparation for the next person who asks the ubiquitous question. Otherwise they are likely to receive an awe-inspiring response as I explode with frustration that so much importance would be placed on a ceremony. I assure you, I would have been frothing at the mouth, raising my voice, probably stamping my feet to punctuate sentences, and overreacting in general. Not pretty.

Would you like to hear my prepared response, rehearsed with a faux calm smile? "Why thank you so much for thinking of us! We discussed participating in the ceremony and decided that because Aimée has been covered in prayer from the beginning, the only reason we would publicly dedicate her would be to satisfy the people around us. I'm sure you'll agree that doesn't seem like a very good reason, does it?"